At Wit's End?

This blog is courtesy of a magazine called Parent and Child. This article was in there and I wanted to share it with other moms and parents in general.

Forget yelling and nagging, focus on positive discipline to bring out the best in your kids and create a more harmonious household.

A Better Way: Positive Discipline, based on love and limits, is common sense. It's often the simple, sensible choices we tend to overlook as options, especially when we're in the heat of a kid battle. Unlike punishment, positive discipline works to maintain the dignity of both child and parent by helping the child want to cooperate because he knows it's the right thing to do, not because he feels he has to comply "or else" It has 3 main objectives:

• To put a stop to misbehavior
  
• To encourage good behaviors
• To strengthen the relationship between parent and child

8 Great Ways To Get Your Kids To Cooperate

1. Acknowledge strong feelings: A child who feels understood sees you as on his side rather then on his back and is more likely to cooperate.

2.Talk less: Say what needs to be done in a single word if you can. Children hate long explanations, which often turn into a screaming tirade of reasons it must be done. You're also modeling self control.

3. Tell your child what he can do, rather then what he cannot do: i.e. "we pet the cat" works better then "Don't pull the cat's tail like you did last time"

4. Give limited choices: Say to your child " you can get in your car seat all by yourself, or mommy can help you, do you need my help? It's your choice" ( but they have to get into their car seat) The more you do this, the more you'll get "self" cooperation

5. Lighten up: Make inanimate objects do the talking for you. Have your child shoes ask him to put them on.

6. Rewind!: This announcement means that your child will "take back" her words and actions and start anew with good behaviour. Silly babble and walking backwards indicate the bad behaviour has been "erased."

7. Take a break: To calm a frustrated child, stop and breathe together. Sitting across from one another hold hands and inhale slowly and deeply three times.

8. Take a silly break: A sense of humor is very positive and often works well to stop misbehaviour. When things are out of control, consider declaring " We need to get silly!" Dance, sing, tell a joke, talk in a silly voice or a foreign language. The children will join right in, or at least stop long enough to watch the show.

In truth, changing your ways and your children's isn't easy. and it can be especially difficult yo hold it together on crazy mornings. But even if you find that what comes out of your mouth is not what you had practiced, don't worry. Your child will give you another chance-sooner than you think-to say it better.

Written by:Gail Reichlin